Wishlist
♥ To be with HER ♥
Gilera Runner or Scrambler or Motard GAPS Tee-shirt
Nikon DSLR G-Shock Watch Part-time Job
Diploma Sport Management
Motor license Reef Slipper
Soccer Boots
iPhone 3GS 32GB
iPod Touch 16GB
Black jacket
Life have been so complicated for me. what i need is a prefect map to walk my journey in my life. everything seem like a battlefield now. what i need to face is just a War that doesn't seem to stop and my world will not gonna be peace. Maybe i am the one who make things such so complicated. Relationship?! i just need to wake up and deeply understand the meaning of that. But what i see is there's nothing got to chance in my relationship. Maybe im worry for no reason. Due to lack of spending time and seem to understand each other. What is happening is Jealousy and Complaint for others. That's the main problem i will always be facing. but nothing seem to overcome or change. Days by weeks,things keep the same. im stuck and i can't get myself out. i just wanna being myself. Whom i socialize and share my joy with. Maybe the expectation is high enough,that i myself easily get bored.I miss mixing around and meeting new friends.Laughter and Smiling super wide is always been a routine for me.but i just feel that,its gone for a moment. People keep asking me.Fiee why u change after having someone in your life. i told them that ,i wanna be the best boyfriend for my girlfriend. truly they supported me to the fullest. Weeks by weeks.And even months.always facing the same old thing. im not accepting more. but there's nothing new coming up for me. Maybe your life and mine is far too different. You got 7 times more socialize then me. Sometimes i have to lie just to meet my friends. everytime i meet them, you will give me that unhappy emotion and make me the most guilty boyfriend for you. sometimes you just push things over the limit that i even can't take it anymore. but i endure and always be patience just to keep myself strong in relationship. Cos i don't wanna repeat the same old things and end up with regret. Being regret is the most painful thing for me. Yeah! sometimes i club, this is all because im stress with my life. i know there's many solution i can do. But the solution is my friends who i need to make me strong in my relationship. But u put a guide line that i feel so tangle and can't get myself through it. Yeah! its true fiee is so emotion. Emotion that he even doesn't want to make his relationship affected by his own mistake. but you push it over the limit. i have been repeating tons of times to you. and you told me that you would understand my needs. But when i need it, you just think about yourself. When u told me,who i am to you. and i proudly announce and declare to you that,Im Your Boyfriend. When i was just by your side, nothing seem special but a deep hurts to myself. do u know that i treasure every meet-up? maybe you doesn't concern about that. i feel so paranoid getting back to camp for 6 days. and meet u for just ones a week. further more if i got stuff in my camp. 2 weeks meet up. I just feel like a prisoner without love. maybe i make u suffered. but then remember my love won't change. Till now u still have that awkward feelings towards me. i only get a HUG, 2 months ones. 3 to 4 months of a prefect kiss?! i doesn't feel so much till now. i miss those moment in our first 2 months. i told you before everything is prefect for the first 2 months. *suffering*
